Rants (the good-natured kind)

I am in sunny Mendoza, in Argentina´s wine country. Its 80, sunny, dry, and no mosquitos. I had some time to think about a few things between the several boat, plane, shuttle bus, and taxi rides it took to get from the Peruvian Amazon to the Argentinian Tuscany.

Recliners. Not lazy-boys. I am talking about the people on airplanes, buses, and trains that feel the need to recline their seats. I hate every single one of these people. Inevitably, the recliner is well under 5 feet tall. And they have the quickest trigger finger; they push that round stainless button the second the wheels leave the tarmac or the train/bus leaves the station. Do they really think that the 3 extra inches they get by reclining is going to help them sleep better? Does it accomplish anything except really piss off the person sitting behind them? Do me a favor; don´t be a recliner.

I made the mistake of trying to save 100 dollars by flying Aero Condor to the Amazon last week. Aero Condor is like the budget version of Southwest Airlines. For example, they handed out the Aero Condor magazine after take off and then went around and collected each single one before we landed. (Did they really think that people were going to steal the airplane magazine? When have you ever taken the airplane magazine off a plane?) Anyway, when I left the Amazon and went to the airport yesterday, the Aero Condor desk tells me that my flight has been delayed by five hours and fifteen minutes. Isn't that a random amount of time for a flight delay? I told them fine, but I needed to make a connecting flight in Lima that night. At that point they admitted that my Aero Condor flight had really been canceled (not delayed) because the airline had only sold five tickets for that flight. Then they literrally took a handful of cash out of their drawer and walked over to their competitor's desk and bought me a new ticket. Do me a favor; next time you are in Peru don't fly Aero Condor.

Finally, when I got to the airport in Chile this morning they separated all the Americans out of lines at passport control. They made each American pay $100 for entering Chile. I explained that I would only be in Chile for 6 hours because I was in transit to Argentina. They said it was irrelevant and that I was being charged the fee because the United States charges Chileans $100 to visit the States. (At which point I thought but didn't say, ¨we can charge money because people actually want to go to the States. Nobody wants to go to "#$!@ Chile.¨) I unwillingly paid and the agent told me the stamp was valid for the life of my passport (4 more years). I told her it didn't matter because I would never ever be coming back to Chile. Do me a favor; skip Chile on your next trip to South America.