Thursday, August 23, 2007

Skydiving!

Click on the album below to see pictures of the craziest thing I've ever done. I recommend everybody try skydiving at least once, but its not something I look to do again in the immediate future. There were several stages of fear associated with the experience:

1) I tell a woman at a travel agency that I am interested in skydiving. She says a group leaves in 15 minutes. I say yes. My legs immediately start twitching.
2) 15 minutes later I am standing in the skydiving office. I turn into a Chatty Cathy, saying anything to anybody who will listen.
3) We drive to the airstrip. I see how small the plane is. I have to pat my stomach to make sure it is still there.
4) The instructor, Sasha, tells us to suit up. Suddenly I can't walk very well.
5) Sasha shows us how we should position ourselves as we jump out of the plane. I think I am going to be sick.
6) Walking to the plane, Sasha asks what I do for a living. When I tell him that I am going to be a lawyer, he jokes that he may have to loosen my harness a bit. I am not in the mood for lawyer jokes.
7) The plane takes off the ground and climbs fast, very fast. I find myself wishing I was anywhere but here.
8) We pull even with the mountaintops. I think this isn't so high. My instructor says we are at 3,000 feet. I hold on to the inside of the plane with a pit bull-like grip that would make Michael Vick proud.
9) Why the hell do we keep climbing? Are they trying to kill me? Its cold in here. These are the last thoughts in my head before my brain completely shuts down.
10) We hit 10,000 feet. I am within a hair's breadth of hyperventilating. I literally have to force myself to breathe.
11) Sasha straps into my harness. I tell him, "please don't let me die." He lets out one of those Dr. Claw-type laughs...you know, the ones from Inspector Gadget. I don't think he realizes that I am being serious.
12) The plane door opens. Sasha and I are the ones closest to the door, meaning we go first. Sasha tells me to stick my legs out the door. Because my brain has shut down, I will do anything Sasha tells me to, even if it means dangling my legs out of a 12,000 foot high airplane.
13) Sasha starts rocking me back and forth out of the door. If there was anything in my bowels at this moment, Sasha would be neither happy nor clean. I close my eyes and tell myself this is not happening.
14) We are off! I open my eyes. The wind is coming up at us so fast that it is an effort to breathe. Not sure if I have slobber all over my goggles and forehead. I scream my only four-letter word of the skydive.
15) We are in free fall for 45 seconds. This is both the longest and shortest 45 seconds of my entire life. I think my stomach is still at 12,000 feet.
16) We reach 5,000 feet and Sasha pulls the chute. Thank God it opens. Arms, check. Legs, check. Family jewels, check. Wow, I am still alive.
17) We reach the ground. I kiss it.
18) Several hours later I get feeling back in my legs. I stop shaking. It dawns on me that I plummeted 12,000 feet earlier in the day. My adrenaline surge fades away and I am exhausted. I blog about how stooopid I am.

Skydiving Pictures!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I laughed until I cried. And then (after I had already seen the actual sky dive) I watched the video you made BEFORE you got on the plane.....and I cried even more! My favorite is still your seeing and swimming with the whale shark. You are on your last leg (so to speak) so take care (extreme) and come home safe (and happy)

Kim said...

Thanks! This was the hardest I'd laughed it quite a while. Glad you made it down!

Kim said...

Thanks! This was the hardest I'd laughed in quite some time. Glad you made it down in one piece!